Captain’s blog, stardate 20040728:20h00

With the Captain currently on shore leave, I am now the acting head of this vessel, the “Becket”, named after a man who died a martyr. As I begin these log entries, I am hoping the same fate will not befall me….or if it does, that at least it’ll have been worth it.

I’ve been the First Officer on this ship for almost 2 years now — a very interesting tour of duty, I must say. I myself just returned from shore leave just last Friday, and am feeling quite refreshed.

Today I had a meeting of most of the bridge crew, and we discussed certain elements of the ship’s operations. Mr. Kelly informed us as to the state of the ship’s hull, which needs work, and we discussed the installation of a new holodeck emitter donated from another ship. One decision which will impact a large number of the crew will be the new location of the replicator, which will be placed in an alcove in the hallway. We hope this will allow easier access to most of the crew, as currently the replicator is on the bridge, and put out a lot of heat and noise for the bridge crew to deal with. We will have to program the replicator with access codes, however, to prevent unauthorized use.

Later in the afternoon I took my shuttle to the planet Fairview, a world entirely devoted to consumer purchasing. I must say, from the looks I received I certainly did feel like I was an alien among them. Perhaps it was the uniform.

I chatted with the Commodore from Starfleet responsible for the fleet this ship is in, and he informed me that Starfleet Headquarters will be officially sending me confirmation of my appointment as Acting Captain. I must say, I do respect this man and the work he puts in. Our discussion covered a great many other topics, but as it was on a secure channel I do not feel comfortable discussing them in this log.

I’m off to my quarters to have some private time with the Head of the entire universe (things both visible and invisible), so I’m signing off for now. First Officer out.

Translation of Trekker terms:

Captain = Pastor
First Officer = Associate Pastor (me)
Vessel = parish
Shore leave = vacation
Bridge = parish office
Bridge crew = office staff
Hull = church roof
Holodeck emitter = video projector
Replicator = photocopier
My shuttle = my car
Planet Fairview = Fairview shopping centre
Starfleet = diocesan curia
Commodore = episcopal vicar
Head of the universe = Jesus